THESE NEW OLD TRADITIONS

Links provided by the lovely Ernski.

Elf tells mall Santa that he’s carrying dynamite.
“Santa notified mall security and Morrow police quickly arrested the 5 feet tall, 108 pound Caldwell.” Tall elf. Shorter man.

Plus: Jews Gone Wild, Christmas Trees for a cool mil., annoying people saying annoying things, fruit cake, and more!!! All after the break.

Did you miss St. Nicholas’ Day on December 5th? Best check yr shoes.
“I thought it was a choice between St. Nick and Santa Claus, and that observing both was a little piggy.”

Bush’s Recession forcing cities to spend $350,000 on their holiday tree instead of the usual and comfy $1 Million.
“The tree at the South Carolina Statehouse is 6 feet shorter than those of the past, competing in stature with the Confederate soldiers’ monument on the capitol’s front lawn.” Also here for the NYT fans.

Is promoting Christmas a promotion of Christianity? A woman you’ve never heard of doesn’t think so.
“If they named it after Christmas, then it’s a Christmas celebration. It doesn’t have anything to do with putting down other religions; it’s simply a simple name. Everybody is too supersensitive, and I’m about tired of it.” Is it really that simply simple?

The Christmas Tree comes from the pagan-y Yule Tree…
“It was Prince Albert, a German and the consort of Queen Victoria of Great Britain, who introduced the Christmas tree to English-speaking peoples in the early 19th century.”

…although someone forgot to tell this guy (Michael Fitzpatrick) who’s all hot and bothered about stuff:
“Just as a Christmas tree is a symbol of Christmas and the Christian faith.” That’s weird. I thought Jesus was born in the Middle East. So…we get all those fancy $300 blue spruces from the desert?

Is the fruit cake more Christian than the Christmas Tree? This article doesn’t know, but can provide you with an insane recipe for the much-maligned and scoffed at dessert(?).
“Archaeologists report that fruitcake is real old-fashioned, Biblical, and pre-Biblical, dating back to ancient Egypt and Sumeria. Fruitcake has been introduced by the diverse population living in ancient Egypt 4,000 years ago.”

Awww…. Little adopted Chinese girl makes menorahs for her Christian mother.
A lot of what you’re saying is really, “Be a good person and don’t hurt other people.” That’s kind of a universal message—Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, whatever, David said.” Muslims are apparently sooooo “whatever.”

A weaker British pound makes Christmas trees an even hotter commodity.
“A couple of big retailers in London wanted 3,000 trees, desperate to pay any money for the trees.”

Hanukkah goes big, wild, and crazy in the NYC!
“The seventh edition of this bash includes a Hasidic strip act, tap dancing dreidels, go-go dancers outfitted in Passover napkins and comedians from Comedy Central, HBO and late-night TV, including Jamie Lee.”