THESE NEW OLD TRADITIONS

Self-reflection is always hard.

Republicans love tests so much they’ve decided to test themselves:

“It urges leaders of local, state and national Republican parties to ‘carefully screen’ the voting record and positions of Republican candidates that want party backing, and determine whether they ‘wholeheartedly support the core principles and positions’ of the party as laid out in its platform.”

At least now we’ll have a better idea why they tick us off so much…

Plus: Capitalism love stories, Caveman had the right idea when it comes to footwear, birds are dinosaurs, and the Ukraine just wants a daddy like the rest of us…

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Don’t send breast milk to Haiti:

“Breast-feeding women want to do something to help these babies in Haiti,” Younger-Meek said. “But the relief workers don’t have the infrastructure to support that need right now.”

Okay, I’m a big believer in the health benefits of natural breast milk, but I also think it’s kind of a no-brainer that sending a perishable product to a country that is currently without electricity is not the greatest idea. Does that make me not a true radical?

P.S. Don’t miss the pun in the headline of this article, Call for breast milk donations in Haiti goes “bust.” [grrooooaaaan]

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Oversized publisher teams up with world-dominater to win technology pricing fight against oversized bookseller:

“Amazon.com has pulled books from Macmillan, one of the largest publishers in the United States, in a dispute over the pricing on e-books on the site.“

It’s the oldest story ever told….

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Secondhand smoke also bad for smokers. Is that news?:

“The study shows that for a smoker who smokes 14 cigarettes a day, inhaling his or her own secondhand smoke by smoking in an enclosed space results in exposure to the equivalent of smoking another 2.6 cigarettes.“

If we could just invent device that allows smokers to not inhale their own secondhand smoke, they could die 20% slower. The world is saved!
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Running barefoot is better than wearing running shoes:

“U.S. researchers published a new study in the journal Nature that indicates runners who run barefoot put less stress on the body than regular shoes.”

Turns out the best running shoes might be the ones you were born with, just watch out for broken glass and “other debris.”
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Marijuana goes all corporate, dude:

“It’s called iGrow, and the owner of the 15,000-square-foot superstore, Dhar Mann, describes it as a one-stop shop for medical marijuana patients who want to grow their own cannabis plants.“

Look, I also think the holy plant should be available without incarcerating disenfranchised folks and other crimes against humanity, but why must we turn everything into a home depot?

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Modern birds are living dinos:

“The newfound dinosaur is a member of a group that some scientists had believed evolved into modern-day birds. However, because this fossil is so old, it gives weight to the dominant view that modern birds, not the newly discovered birdlike creatures in China, were the ones that evolved from dinosaurs.“

Anyone who’s ever looked into the eyes of a bird knows this is true.

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Six years after inspiring protest effort success, the Ukraine wants to go back to business as usual:

“While Ms Tymoshenko is viewed as appealing but unreliable, Mr Yanukovych comes across as unappealing but reliable. With their economy reeling from the global financial crisis and after years of bitter political infighting within the Orange camp, voters seem ready to plump for a quieter life.“

Remember when the Ukrainians got all upset about their rigged election, and then they got the recount they were looking for? And we lazy Americans felt all bad about ourselves because when we needed a recount just couldn’t get our balls together to protest on that level? Well, now the guy they voted out is maybe back because, “Viktor Yanukovych is seen as unappealing but reliable.” There has to be more to this story! Rally, Ukraine!